The Stick of What?
by OrangeBoxFox
Summary: "Why me?" He was only supposed to go out and make a few "friends." But I guess this will do.
1. Prologue

"Oh sweetie, look at the gorgeous little back ground? Its going to be so nice once we get to our new home." the woman said, smiling through the drivers window and out towards the landscape. Her husband paused in his search for a radio station and sighed rather huffy like. "Look he's not even listening to you. Just keep driving, my ass is sore from all this sitting dear." he complained, however brightening up a bit when a clear station came through. Both of the parents smiled and continued down the flat if not ever climbing terrain.

_He _on the other hand merely slouched a bit further into his seat. It wasn't as if he couldn't hear them. A pair of red ear phones sat securely in his ears but the music wasn't coming through. In fact they weren't even plugged into his ipod, the other end was just sitting in his pocket. Now that they weren't looking Colt took a moment to actually look out side again. This place was going to suck. There was nothing but trees, and random sightings of animals that had rather stupid looking faces on. As they passed a rail road sign he spotted one then. A wide eyed deer..  
Colt squinted his eyes at the fluffy bambi creature, he was sure it had grinned at him just now. But they had already driven past.

A week ago his mother had pulled him from school. On the way home she announced that they found a new home up in a cute valley, a supposedly quiet mountain town. A place that was more secluded then the last is what he pointed out to himself. This was a frequent thing. Hopefully this time however it would be their last. Nothing was more shitty then having to pack up your stuff and then haul it around only to pack it up again later.

"Oh look honey! We finally made it here, there's the welcome sign." the youngest glanced up from his phone with a steady look. It was suspicious. This whole place screamed something was off..or maybe it was because it was just lame. His mother turned around in her seat to smile at him so Colt put on his most innocent look. An owlish blink paired with a flat lip. "Are you excited, we're about to see our new ho -"

"Clarey!" his father yelled, "The road! The Road!"

This was the start of probably the most insane adventure in his life. Colt could remember watching his parents struggle with the wheel to avoid something that was blocking up the asphalt. With the snow they slipped and for a moment, through the tires screeching and adults screaming he saw it. While he held onto his phone, suspended off his seat there was that damn ugly deer again. He gave it the most studying look that a human child could muster..the thing chuckled, and before he knew it the hood of the family car dented in and they were rolling across the ground like a ball during lunch break.

Colt tucked his legs up against the back of his mothers seat and kept his shoulders hunched. This was South Park..the supposed quiet little mountain town where everyone knew everyone and only the snow put a damper in your day.

_Crash!_

As his vision blurred out, his head laying at a crooked angle in his upside down state. Colt was pretty sure...he saw hooves bounce by his severely cracked window. Then the high pitched tone in his ears became to much and he slipped into a fuzzy half conscious state full of voices and painful jarrings...


	2. Just a dream

It was a four bedroom, two bath, with a kitchen..obviously, and thankfully a back yard. Last time it had been nothing but a concrete block with a patch of grass and a single tree that was no bigger then four by four feet. The curse of living amongst so many people.

Wait..a house?

The only son of the house jerked up right and glanced around with a surprised expression. The first thing he noted was that he was in a plain looking bedroom. Reaching up to ruffle his dark blue locks he turned to the right. A simple computer desk was set up at the far end of the room. Its blinking power light flashing dully in a sort of rhythm. Across from that his gold fish, scary, was staring back. The boy waved at it, bu the fish merely inke twice. It always had that weird habit to watch the him every time he entered his bedroom. It was like the fish had a sixth sense and knew when Colt was coming back so he'd turn and wait by watching the door. It was freaky if you asked him but at least the aquatic pet didn't make much noise or cause a mess.  
Shifting onto his left leg he lolled his head back and towards the grey ceiling. It was just a bed room. A simple and very unpacked bed room by the looks of it. His posters were resting in the corner, various boxes of his things stacked crookedly by the door and a plane if not childish toy box at the end of his already set up bed.

Colt leaned forwards with a grunt. He had fallen asleep on the floor. So it was just a dream then? A really weird dream with a gory end.. The boy looked down at his clothes then. They were in order. His two shirt combo was clean of any bloody stains and tears like it had been before. A plain black hooded short sleeve that set snug over a tighter fitting white long sleeve. The bottom top he kept tucked into a pair of red and undamaged looking jeans. Fitted to hold the frame in a comfortable manner that was other wise known as skinny jeans. Colt reached out and tugged at the two belts hanging lopsided by his left side. Every thing was in order. From his choppy and layered hair down to his scuffed blue sneakers. So maybe it was really just a dream!

Shaking his head the silent boy stood up and dusted himself off. It was at this moment that a couple pairs of feet could be heard coming from down the hall way. He faced the door and was greeted by his two motherly parents. "Hey sweetie, we were just coming to check up on you." his mother pointed out obviously. What else would they come up here for? He attempted to relay the message through his deadpanned stare but they didn't pick up on it. "How do you like your new room?"

For real? Colt made a show of looking back and forth. It was about as blank as their dusty brains right now. Though the size of it was kind of a plus. "We just hope that you can enjoy your new home dear." his mother spoke aloud, glancing to her husband. "Do you remember why we moved to this town son?"

Because it was the farthest thing from convenient? He said nothing and that gave his parents some sort of hope. What was he not remembering here? While they conversed in awed voices he racked his brain for an answer. It was as elusive as his parents sanity.

"Anyways you should go out and look around. We can take care of the rest of the house. There is some money on the counter hun so go have fun." his mother was always so nice.

"..."

His father was a dick. "You gunna say thank you?" he questioned.

"..."

"Yea, we love you to son gah." he grumbled, throwing up his arm and walking back into the hallway from wence he crawled out of. Clarey gave a pleasant and apologetic smile to him before leaving as well, she closed the door gently. Now that he was alone Colt sighed loudly. Great, now he was to go out and walk the town which dwelled in a pot hole of society. Pinching his nose he turned and sifted through a his back pack. It had all of the most important things he would need readily. Like his hat. A band logo'd beanie with a ball cap bill on the front. Tugging this down over his ears and pulling on his bag Colt snagged a red scarf from the floor and tossed it around his neck loosely.

His parents idea of walking money was pitiful, so he would need to loot the area for some worthy coins.

He tried all of the upstairs doors first. The one right next to his was locked, presumably his parents. No point in picking at the knob to get in there at this point. So he went to the next. It was an organized bathroom. Some of his mothers plants were already set up. A bright and eye burning potted dandilions. Their yellow color was always to sunny for his taste but Colt never comained to her about them. In fact he only added to her collection every important holiday by buying the woman another flowering plant.

Rubbing his face Colt stopped in front of the wash sink and dug around the drawers for anything useable. He couldn't help but catch a look at his reflection.

Being eight years old he wasn't to tall. A lanky five foot with not much of a build aside from some pretty impressive hands. He played a lot of video games. The dark eyes boy surveyed his expression. He had never been to colorful. His complexion was pale and soft. An odd difference to his hair which was deep blue like his grandmothers. Or at least that was what the picture on the fire place mantel portrayed. Taking a moment he toyed with his uneven bangs and brushed his teeth with his own toothpaste. A nice mint in comparison to the nasty over powering stuff his parents used. It was like acid on your tongue! Colt cringed just thinking of it and finished up his search before going down stairs.

The house was nice and big but painted with an ugly purple color. As Colt snuck down the stairs and slipped past his father he could at least point out that it was still more cozy then the apartment they had last lived in.

As per usual his mother was working in the kitchen. Her habit for beautiful organization showed even now. She was stacking each plate with such a delicate hand that he didn't even hear it clink together. Sighing with an air of fondness he ducked over to the counters and shuffled around for the money they had spoken of. He rolled his eyes, as predicted it was a measly two dollars. He pocketed it however with the rest of the change he had managed to snag from around the house. "Oh, you should go out now sweetie. It's really nice outside and I heard some of the neighborhood children playing." she encouraged kindly, turning around and leaning on the sink.

"Oh dont be nervous," she must of misread his air of unpleasantry as fear. "Your going to love it here!" there was no avoiding it, after she gave him that smile. Shrugging off it with doubt Colt walked over to her side and ducked his head. His mother planted a sweet kiss on his crown moments later with a giggle. He was still a momma's boy...well and dad was such a douche.

"It wasn't an option it was a command boy! Now get out there and make some friends for yourself, or your grounded!" always ruining the moment eh? No comment was given and Colt trudged outside into the surprisingly bitter air. Was Colorado always going to be this cold?

He decided yes, puffing out into the air with a white cloud. Where he came from there wasn't much snow. It was always a grey slop because of the city muck. So to stare into such a pure and white blanket of the icy flakes was nearly as blinding as the red on his house. Colt reached up and made a visor over his eyes on top of the bill from his hat. If he just walked around the neighborhood a few times then came home his "exploration" would be complete. This need to be social by his parents would also be satisfied as well.

So with a shifting of his back pack and a jingle of the keychains that hung on it the boy stepped off the porch and crunched across the yard. He nearly slipped twice! This was no doubt a sign of threat against his personal safety and he was not pleased. He kicked a plume of the fluffy stuff, giving it a glare but that did little to make the situation better so he wobbled out onto the side walk and started to walk..slowly. As slow as an old turtle to be exact. He probably looked like a fool, tip toeing along as if avoid blotches of lava. Rolling his eyes the boy blew a huff that shook his bangs. This would take longer then he thought.

Many if the neighboring houses around theirs were just as colorful. They all had that same make up about them. A two story with a garage, weird hue, and snow. Lots of patchy snow.

"I"ll banish you to the forests of far!" well that wasn't an everyday verse? Colt glanced up in his balanced walk and spotted two boys.

"No you can't! That's not in the rules!" another yelled, swiftly shoving a petite looking blonde to the ground. Well, the neighborhood boys were playing alright, and it was dungeons and dragons by the looks of it. Did they know it was so much easier to play it on a board, no walking envolved. Or bruises for that manner Colt noted as he walked up behind the pointy eared boy. Though an occasional fist was going to be slung. Like it was in this case. "Ill banish you first by asking the king!" the standing kid jeered, rearing his leg back to kick the downed kid.

Bullies were assholes. Stupid breeds who enjoyed beating up other humans for their own amusement. Colt could of kept walking but it seemed inhumane to let the weird kid get iced by the girly pointy eared boy so he broke it up.

Colt gave an unintended rough shove to the elf boy, curtsey of slipping on ice. It was enough to knock the kid to the ground. "That's not fair! Your cheating by asking for back up! This was between us two dick!" the brown haired boy yelled, turning on Colt who had nothing written upon his features but a flat look. "You...your a bloody cheater too! Your not even wearing armor so your not a part of the game! I'm telling!" a decent retreat call but it was wasted on the unresponsive noirette. He put his hands in his pockets at the nameless player ran off carrying his makeshift sword. Is this what small town kids did for fun? He still played with tinker sets and video games but these guys were beating the crap out if each other with weapons...that was kinda cool.

"Aww, thanks!" wow, he'd forgot the blonde. Colt looked down as the other got up and dusted his goofy clothes off. "I didn't know he was g-gunna pull a fast one on me by using a potion!" he yipped, giving the taller a pleasant smile. It was like a baby just saw food or candy! Colt glanced to the right, waiting for whatever else was going to be said..that or contemplated walking to the other side of the road now that the deed was done.

"Anyways, my name is Butters, the Merciful. I'm the paladin of the humans!" he seemed proud of the title. With the way he beamed with this odd sort of triumphant glow..what's a paladin? "Hey! I've got a nifty idea, now that've we met we should play together! I can take you to meet the grand wizard..if you want." Butters offered, mashing his hands together in a probable nervous habit. "I mean, I won't make you do anything you don't want to.." he explained. "But it's fun, there all these classes you can pick from! L-like a fighter or a Mage -" the other continued to exain.

Was he really being invited to play? Colt blinked at the Butters. They'd only just met, literally. Though he wondered if he'd get to dress up like a heroic hero too? Butters attire was homemade but awesome. A navy blue cape was tied around his shoulders. Contrasting greatly with the baby blue pants and shirt that he was clad in. A star patch had been sewn just in the center of the blonde's chest, while an equally god tinted belt held up his pants. There was also a pair of to big looking boots on Butter's feet. Over all it was a kid attempting to a big role..sloppy but trying and he still hated yellow.

Colt looked back up towards the boys face at the stifling silence. _ok..."_Is that ok? If I take you to his house?" he repeated. Butters didn't get the signal either. He waited with a red and expectant look upon his face.

Colt sighed, sometimes he doubted his races ability to communicate. He started to walk down the sidewalk again with out a real destination. For he didn't know who this kid was he was supposed to meet or where the guy lived. But that seemed to do it because shortly after there was a -

"Oh!" the blonde was right at his side, bouncing on his feet and swinging his arms to keep up with the taller's gait. "So you do wanna play! Great, the grand wizard had been talking about your arrival. He'll be pleased to see you new kid...what's your name anyways?" he turned and looked up at him.

Colt peeked at his companion through his peripheral vision. This kid was like a puppy, no joke. The wait he was hanging on receiving some sort of answer. Arms bobbing a little higher and eyes open like an owl. If he had dog ears the noirette was sure they would be standing stark up. "..." there was no answer. _Colt, my name is colt ya kiddo!_

It didn't bother Butters as much this time. With a nod in understanding at not receiving a reply he started back towards walking. There wasn't much of a silence however this time. The paladin filling the air with idle talk. Asking a range of questions varying from both his liking of the state and where he had come from to how long he had been here. Simple conversation.

_Victory_...he had picked up one new "friend" at least. A bubbly cute blonde that liked to talk and had a nag for being to bold for his own good. He had been fighting an "elf" by himself after all. Though he also had a hammer Colt noted.

_Some game..._


	3. Kingdom of Kuppa Keep: aka KKK

So not a walk through by the way! Or at least im going to try and make it anything but that. Just as a head's up I went back and fixed the last chapter. Mostly just to get rid of some typos and change up the dialogue a bit.  
**NOTICE  
**Since this an imagination game between a town of boys im going to write it as such. To keep it from getting really confusing for you guys i'll break up the parts where the characters are seeing each other as legit heros, and when they aren't by using that gorgeous bar. So try not to get lost and I hope that the main characters don't turn out to OOC in this. Cartman is a character I've never written for and he is in my opinion pretty difficult to keep in line. Considering he always has some messed up plot in mind...

To the story!  
But first!  
**Disclaimer: **For obvious reasons I do not own South Park.

* * *

He blinked his eyes hard, while the other quickly did the same only three times. The silence in the air had an awkward comedy about it that made the smile on Butter's face funnier then it had to be. Considering the boy was being serious.

Had he really just sent Colt a friend request, while standing next to him? The invite staring back up at him from his equally cartoon decorated phone said as much. "Since we live right next door to each other we can talk like pals without having to actually go outside all the time! It'll be great." the shorter grinned, pocketing his own cell back into what was probably meant to be a coin pouch of some sort. Without so much as a second glance he hit confirm and stuffed his phone into his pocket.

Way to support the ever growing fatness of America by putting it into such terms Butters. He sighed heavily through the material of his scarf. Tugging it up a bit more to cover his nose against the intolerant cold. _  
"Hey guys, the new kid is playing the game with us and me and him are friends now. So that way you cant pick on him."_

Chihuahua's threatening to rip out your ankles was pretty frightening. If you ever had the nerve of walking into said dog's yard in the first place. So perhaps with Butters proclaiming this to the entire world of, well whoever his friends were maybe Colt would go without getting into trouble for a bit. He sort of wished he'd known how wrong it was thinking that would of actually worked.

A hint? There had been multiple that day in fact, point A. Agreeing to go to a boy's house who called himself the "grand master wizard"..wasn't it?

Apparently this guy was only lived two houses down from his own. A vibrant not so bad green house. But it still wasnt as great as the red color of his own home, a favorite color. While Butters bobbed across the ankle deep snow to cut his way to the front porch Colt vaguely noted that ditching these guys would be difficult if the game turned out to be stupid. They all lived right next to each other..great.  
Just as he safely trudged up to the first step the front door was thrown open to reveal the king himself! Colt paused in mid step with his hands still in his jacket pockets as the two boys conversed. It was a dramatic affair.

Butter in a fashion that was of the up most hilarity turned around and announced the King's presence by tossing his arms up into the air. Colt lifted his brow at the spectacle, "All Hail, the great Wizard King and all of his glory!" it was proclaimed. Before the blonde leaned closer to the taller who in turn ducked his chin to look at the kid. "This is Cartman by the way."

"So!" the fat kid barked, earning both boys attention. "Your the new kid that has been foretold of..by local net banker." he asked, lifting his head and tapping his staff on the porch with a sense of authority. "..."

"..."

"...?" the three of them shared a few glances, all waiting for one or the other to talk. Which Cartman aka the Wizard King finally did only to Butters. "Uhh is he stupid or something? Does he talk Butters?" he whispered.  
"Nope, he doesn't. But he's kinda fun!" the red boy reached up and pinched the bridge of his nose as if in mental pain. Colt drooped his lids into a bland stare.

"How am I supposed to work with this? I cant fucking talk with a brick wall Butters!" he stated harshly before returning his attention back to the kid in question. "We have been awaiting for your arrival but alas there is little time to bicker about it! Come come, let me show you the extent of my kingdom first before all of the talk." they were then waved inside. Butters first following by Colt himself who in turn closed the door against the chill. It was pleasantly warm in the house hold, and filled with the sounds of Terrance and Philip. That wasnt so bad at least?

This was obviously a normal routine for his friend. Who had an air of comfort when walking into the Wizard's house. Colt however almost felt awkward..almost. He was more or less just interested in getting the first part of this "session" over with so he could see what this was all about. As the three of them walked into the main room the noirette found himself squinting against the color. He _hated yellow, _and the entire inside of this place was fucking..Y.E.L.L.O.W! To make matters worse the floor was a lime green. In disgust Colt kept his eyes down the entire time.

"Oh wow Cartman, whose your new friend?" it was the boy's mother. A brunet woman who just like most of society had her face nose deep into a cell phone. The plague that had the world within its sinister clutches..  
Did he have any text messages he wondered idly.

"Shuddup Mom, i'm busy right now." the leader tossed as they passed. Colt gave her a glance which was received with a smile before the fat boy broke it up again. "Don't talk to her she's not part of the game. Lets go." he was envious. If Colt had the guts to talk to his parents that way he would be grounded for sure. It was decided that Cartman's mom, was a pushover. "Ohh, you be nice to the new boy dear and have fun with your little friends pumpkin poo ~ " she called, Butters stifled a laugh from behind his hand while he himself smiled a wee bit. Pumpkin poo?

"Yeh mom! Now shut up peasant!"

* * *

"..." as soon as he stepped through the threshold the eight year old was taken out of the present and into this world of magic and medieval. Out of habit he looked up first. The copper tinted towers in the distance were as a beacon, stating that this is where the castle lay for those who traveled such a long way to get there. The fields that lay between them and it were soft rolling pastures of snow dusted land. Muddy trails hinted at the traffic that went through to enter the city. Colt raised his arm to cover his eyes from the gust of wind and frosty flakes that was kicked up in the process. A whispering lash of leaves from trees called and as he peeked through his bangs he felt an odd sense of awe. The journey was per say out of random, but the effort to get here was worth it.

"Welcome, to the Kingdom of Kupa Keep!" the boy shouted, lifting his arms up with a gesture towards the land that was his. From their stance at the highest point on this hill the rank was made. The Wizard King gripped the magic staff with a sense of contempt, leaning against the chill. Just behind him stood the Paladin who had introduced Colt into the ranks of Kupa. Not a trace of his timid nature could be seen as he held his shoulders straight, cape whipping with an occasional snap. A proud member to an equally great kingdom.

Colt tightened his roughly treated scarf a bit more. Was this where he was to make a life for himself? After such a bland beginning.

The King lifted his staff at a hovering distance and began to walk down the beaten path. Butter's turned to look at the quiet boy over his shoulder with an inviting smile. "Well come on bud, don't keep them all waiting!" he waved, following behind the leader who was with a shuffling of feet followed by the newest member himself.

There was a reason he has been dropped into the foreign place. A reason he couldn't remember..but walking alongside this odd duo Colt felt that perhaps this was as prophesied. He was supposed to be here..or maybe not?


End file.
